An Outpouring of Love

"Life's most persistent and urgent question is...What are you doing for others?" -Martin Luther King Jr.



In the past I heard the saying "it takes a village to raise a child" and thought, that's a nice sentiment.  That strikes such a different cord with me now that I see a village literally raising our family as we go through this tough experience.



Although Koby is doing better and making progress we still have our rough days as we try to balance spreading our love and support to our children.  So many have come forward in the "village" we live in to help our family where Steve and I can't as we're being pulled in many different directions.  When days come up where our sleeplessness gets the better of us and we have a hard time reasoning through where we should put our parenting energy, I remind myself that Koby is still here with us and he's progressing.  It's ok if we mess up and make poor decisions, we can try again with a different strategy the next time.  I've decided I have enough things to do that I can go work on something else if the thing I'm working on is frustrating me or causing too much friction, then come back to it with a fresh perspective when I'm ready.  Steve and I find ourselves giving each other pep talks as we make our way on this roller coaster of a journey.  The only way to fail in this circumstance is to give up, as long as we keep picking ourselves back up again and keep trying, we are not failing.  And it is ok to take a break; taking a break is not giving up either.



Steve and I are happy to blend in and observe, we don't like to draw a lot of attention to ourselves, and we like to be the ones serving others, we find a lot of joy in that.  It has been humbling to realize we are the ones in need of the help right now, and we need to let others feel the joy of serving.  I have always loved living here in the friendly South, people are so warm and kind it just feels like a community.  I don't think I've ever felt such a sense of community as I do now in the response of prayers and help we've received from everywhere.



I want to share some of the kind things people have done for us, and please excuse me if I miss something, so many things that have happened and the last three weeks are becoming a blur, but I want to try to remember what I can.  We wanted to remember these acts of kindness, as these have made a tremendous difference to us. Our kid's preschool is making our boys lunches for us since we live so far away, and oh how helpful that is right now as I try to get to the hospital each day to work with Koby and learn from the nurses, therapists, and doctors how to help him.  The preschool is organizing this, and we don't even know which parents are helping to put it together. Our church has organized meals, rides, and help with our kids for the last few weeks.  Many friends have contacted me at just the right moment to pick up groceries or run errands.  My daughters church youth group made us sweet little cards and a fleece blanket they tied for Koby.  My aunt sent a package full of fun activities for the kids to do with a note explaining these were fun things to do while parents were busy helping the new baby.  Friends and neighbors have dropped us goodie bags full of fun things for the kids.  We've received beautiful flowers that have brightened the day. We really love the texts, Facebook comments, phone calls, and emails from friends we know, and friends we haven't met yet. We read every single message multiple times, and love to take time each night in sharing with each other who has reached out to us. These messages strengthen us. Last Wednesday Steve was feeling really bad because he had a lot to do at work, and needed to pick up Kyle from basketball practice at night. So he wasn't able to visit Koby the entire day. At 9pm I got a call from my sister Tasha that she was just leaving the hospital. She felt the need to drive 45 minutes to go and just hold Koby for an hour. This brought Steve so much comfort. He was feeling torn between all of the events of the day. It was as if Steve's prayer for help was answered when Tasha followed a prompting. The following day my sister in law Brittany got on a plane and flew in from Minnesota for the weekend so Steve and I could spend time together at the hospital. It was amazing all Brittany accomplished in the two days she was here.  She played with our kids, filled our freezer with homemade meals to use in the future, and tackled a huge project that I'd hoped to get done before Koby was born cleaning out and re-organizing our mudroom which was wildly out of control. Steve's coworkers have all been praying for Koby. One of his friends from work said his young son's church friends all pray for Koby, and they have no idea who he is, or what he looks like, or where we go to church. They are praying regardless. The Sunday after Koby was born Steve and I attended Church at an earlier time than usual so that we could spend more time in the hospital. So it wasn't with our normal congregation. One by one, before the meeting, people came up to him and told Steve they were praying for us. And it wasn't just a couple of people. It was every single person he looked at or walked by. It brought him to tears of gratitude.



We've heard from a lot of people that they think we are being so strong with all of this. It is great to hear this, and is definitely encouraging. But the reality with all of this is that it is very difficult and hard for us. We struggle. We cry. We question if we are strong enough to take on our trials and challenges. Sometimes we feel like we have the faith to move mountains. And sometimes we feel the weight on our shoulders and struggle to get out of bed in the morning. We are strong in our faith, and yet we lack so much in our faith sometimes too.



We keep telling people that the past three weeks have been a "roller coaster". Can I just say that there is not a better way to describe this! Sometimes the roller coaster is such a thrill (for us that is seeing Koby progress). Sometimes you just want the ride to stop so you can get off and start a new challenge. Sometimes the sudden drops were too steep, and you get sick to your stomach and throw up. Being a parent is like this sometimes. We are so thankful that we can even go on the "ride", even though it is a challenge. Our experience is not totally unique, as we each face challenges every day. We are learning that you just have to take things a day at a time, and appreciate all of the positive.